By Stephen Schwegler, Eirik Gumeny
Area, the expectantly no longer copyrighted ultimate frontier.
Out there's a universe teeming with new and unusual lifestyles, with technological know-how and possibly magic and wonderment. And in the market, in that inky black void, is a spaceship whose team in truth couldn't provide a crap.
Welcome to the Zdravo. domestic to a workforce extra serious about getting ice cream than with saving the galaxy, less than the command of a federation that gives you promotions according to filthy acts played at the back of simply sometimes closed doorways, and captained through a guy whose simply aim in existence is to bone as many lifeforms as he can, a captain who actually desires to screw the universe.
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Additional info for Screw the Universe
Who're you? ” “I’m me. ” The trio couldn’t see someone. Whoever was once conversing used to be now not status without delay on the backside of the steps. He used to be off to the part someplace, simply out of sight. That bastard. “Are you a pirate? ” requested inner most Redshirt. “Yes,” stated the voice. “I suggest, no. No, I’m no longer a pirate. ” “I don’t think you. ” “Maybe I don’t think you! ” “This is dumb,” stated Captain Tyler. “Violence! ” He pulled his laser pistol and ran down the steps. First Lieutenant Duknerts after him. It was once in his agreement to ensure Tyler remained one of the dwelling. Granted, if he enable Tyler die, it should merely be a mild nice, yet Commodore Feces used to be second-in-command and, apart from being thoroughly insane and chained to a mattress within the psych ward of the send, he was once type of a dick. deepest Redshirt sighed. Her agreement didn’t specify that anybody needed to live on, so she easily plopped her butt down and waited for her witless commanding officials to come back. that's, until eventually she heard Captain Tyler’s horrified little girly-scream from deep in the elements of the basement she couldn’t see. That’s whilst she made up our minds she sought after ice cream. “Large cone please. Chocolate and vanilla swirl. ” “Sure thing,” acknowledged the lunchlady-bot. inner most Percival Q. Purplepants obtained in line at the back of deepest Redshirt and stated hi. “Hello. ” “Hi,” answered inner most Redshirt. “So, how approximately that carrying on with pirate attack, huh? ” “Tell me approximately it. ” “Sucks to be us. ” “Only if you’re one of many ones to get your head exploded. ” “That’s why I put on this helmet. ” “No, it’s now not. ” in the meantime, again within the basement, First Lieutenant Duknerts had his fingers complete. actually. Captain Tyler had run face first into an uncovered pipe and cracked his cranium open. in the course of the resulting screaming and thrashing, he had controlled to shake his mind unfastened. very easily, it had landed in Duknerts’ open fingers. “Holy shit! ” exclaimed Wally Glagrik, Neptunian satan undergo union president and proprietor of the mysterious voice from moments past. “You’re retaining his mind! ” “Holy shit! ” stated First Lieutenant Duknerts. Tyler’s physique didn’t say something. deepest Redshirt walked down the cellar stairs and located her crewmates in a country of panic and dying, respectively. She regarded past them simply because, to be frank, she wasn’t all that involved, and that’s while she spotted Wally status opposed to the wall with a walkie-talkie. “You’re the pirate? ” she requested, concurrently pointing over on the Neptunian satan Bear’s union president and licking her ice cream cone. “I advised you I’m now not a pirate. ” “But then why are these pirates open air attacking us? ” First Lieutenant Duknerts became and confronted deepest Redshirt. “Brain! useless! Tyler! Feces! NOOOOOOO! ” “Yeah, ok, fine,” she spoke back. “I imagine the pirate query is extra urgent. ” “You should still most likely ask that man, then,” acknowledged Wally Glagrik, pointing his walkie-talkie at an unwashed guy with a bandana, a watch patch and a wood leg, in a nook and attempting to conceal in the back of his personal arm.